It's strange how time passes and the grief doesn't lessen. And yet as you continue to live your life, you realize things that never occurred to you before. Such as, many of my friend's who had children around the same time that Lincoln was born, will be turning 3 years old this year, and my child won't. He'll just always be two. And this holiday season it's easy to still find pictures of all the grandchildren to make gifts with, and yet in the future we won't ever have a picture of all the grandchildren to give to my parents because Lincoln won't be in them. And how weird would it be to give my parents a picture of Jezelle at the age of 5, when she is now 15. Maybe that doesn't even make sense. The whole picture thing really bothers me. I will eventually run out of pictures to use on this blog. We only have so many pictures. Time continues to just be such a strange concept when it comes to grief and the loss of a child. This picture was taken last Christmas. He looked so cute in his Christmas outfit. My heart breaks each time I see clothes that I totally would have bought for him.
But on a lighter note this holiday season, we continue to count our blessings of joy. Such as this little 6 year old who dances in the Target isles while Christmas shopping because why not?
I'm always so grateful when you post and share these pieces of you with all of us. They're inspirational, tender, and sweet. I've been thinking of you and Linc a lot lately, daily actually. This holiday season has to be so, so hard without your sweet little one. And I'm sorry - it breaks my heart. I pray that the spirit of our Savior will fill your home with love and peace while you celebrate each day. I love you.
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