Happy Birthday Lincoln

Today is our sweet Lincoln's birthday.  He would have turned 3 years old today.  It was definitely a day that hurt a lot.  A constant reminder that he wasn't here to celebrate one of the best days of my life, the day that he was born!!  But at the same time, I have the most amazing friends and family, who continued to make me smile throughout the day, by celebrating Pinwheel Day!  The amazing acts of kindness that was shared with others was the best way I can think to honor such an incredible little boy.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about Lincoln's life and how unfair it is that it was WAY too short.  I think about how if he were alive right now, I'd be transitioning him into the preschool special education program in our school district and becoming the best advocate I could be for him.  I think about what I would have bought him for his birthday and what he would be like at the age of 3.  Those things make me so so sad.

But then I had a thought the other day; if on the day Lincoln was born I was told that I could have him for TWO whole years . . . or I could not have him at all . . . what would I choose?  I of course would take two years over no life at all.  I am such a better person because of Lincoln.  I am a better mother to my child who is still alive, I am a better therapist, a better wife and a better friend.  Lincoln gave me that gift that no one else could have ever given me in this life.  And although I hurt so so bad and miss him more then words can describe, I'd do it all over again, for just those two short years.  As impossibly hard and painful this journey has been, I would do it all over again for the chance to be Lincoln's mother, to love and raise my sweet boy, and to be loved in return.

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

This year we decided on an ice cream cake for Lincoln, because he loved ice cream!!